How Modern Parenting Trends are Redefining Family Dynamics
Parenting at the highest level | Lessons From My Family’s Past | How to Maintain a Romantic Relationship While Working and Raising Children | Raising Empowered Kids: The Journey Starts with Us
Vol 1 issue 12
Editorial - DR Rawson
In today’s society, families are being redefined all the time. This week, we’ll look at the sense of belonging that defines a family. Yes, there’s also a sense of belonging that creates personal empowerment. In this addition, every choice we make as parents affects the lives of our children.
When we belong to a family, an organization, a TEAM, a group, or even a religion, we feel empowered. The next logical question is to do what? That’s at the heart of what this week’s issue is about. We’ll start with family. We hope you’ll enjoy this week’s edition. If you do, please subscribe.
Parenting at The Highest Level
By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi
Many people, when they look at their parents, think they can do better or that they would do a different type of parenting. We think about things that happened in our childhood and what we would liked to have done differently. Each parent does the best they can within the circumstances they are under. Many times, we are not under our ideal lives and circumstances. There are difficulties making ends meet. There are societal pressures, and everyday life brings up situations that can be less than ideal.
Times of conflict, poverty, parents working multiple jobs, and inadequate childcare. In the “old days,” families used to live together in a larger family unit. There was always someone home to watch out for each other. Today, many times, children end up under other people’s care more than the time they spend with their parents and family. Looking back, I wish I worked less and spent more time with my children. I would have preferred to have Bought less “stuff” that I thought they needed and went on more adventures. I hope they don’t remember some of this, and I hope they forgive me if they do.
I did not realize how quickly the weeks, months, and years would go and how quickly my little girl and boy would grow up. When I was in it, the time felt slower; looking back, it was very fast. It seems like a lifetime ago. Time is something we can not get back. I want to empower today’s parents, no matter the age of you and your children. The most valuable thing you can give them is your love, time, and attention. Nothing else matters.
“Stuff” does not matter. They do not care what clothes they wore at age one and what and how many toys they had. Many times, simple things get used and enjoyed more than expensive fancy toys and gadgets. Consider spending as much time with children and family as possible. Give them all the love possible. Be there for them. Life is too short to do anything else.
From the Civil War to Modern Parenting: Lessons From My Family’s Past
By DR Rawson - The Possibilist
I’m glad that I’m old enough to give some perspective for consideration.
In oral traditions, my memory takes me back as far as the US Civil War. I remember my Grandmother telling me that her father was in the war at age twelve. Twelve!. Does anyone want to send your twelve-year-old off to war?
My Grandfather wasn’t allowed to attend school beyond the third grade because the family business (hauling coal out of the mountains and into the city) demanded that he drive the team of horses while his father loaded and unloaded the coal from the source and then into the homes of their customers.
My father’s generation may have been one of the first generations where some children, not all, were allowed to be children, but there were strict guidelines that children needed to follow.
Every generation, in theory, wants a better life for their children. A better life than they feel they had. That’s a problem.
Not everyone agrees with this, but from Sue Donnellen’s Ask Mom popular site comes a comparison of tradition vs. modern parenting.
When it comes to the main differences between traditional and modern parenting, there are a few key points to keep in mind.
Traditional parenting generally involves more rules and stricter discipline, while modern parenting is more open-minded and less authoritarian.
Traditional parenting also tends to rely heavily on rewards and punishments, while modern parenting focuses more on teaching children life lessons through dialogue.
Finally, traditional parenting focuses more on teaching obedience, while modern parenting focuses on teaching children to think for themselves.
** Bold represents values that I believe are tried and true.
I’ve recently learned that Positive parenting and a supportive family environment during childhood are linked to healthier romantic relationships in adulthood. While that’s important, the fact that you take care of yourself and your partner makes your parenting more impactful to those who see you as a role model.
Personally
Unfortunately, my parents were not able to contribute that much to what I should have learned as a young boy. As a young man, they did. However, most of the principles and values I used to raise my kids came from my Grandfather.
All six of my children are doing well. It’s my grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and beyond that I worry about. They are being raised with the new Parenting Trends, and their family dynamics are very different.
As you’ve read, I represent the Counter-Point to this week’s focus.
The principles and values bolded in her traditional, and some in current trends are values that have worked well over time. If you want your children to succeed in business, they will need training from you, not a dialogue.
If you’re over forty-three and under fifty-seven, I’m probably the age of your parents. Not everyone in my or any generation feels the same as the next person, but when you find something that delivers the end result you’re looking for, then that’s what you should use.
In Summary
If you’re starting a business, starting a family, beginning a relationship, or whatever, start with the end in mind. What is it that you want the end result to be? Spend the time to decide what you want and then create the discipline, rules, guidelines, or incentives that will deliver the result.
Are you ready? Do you know what you want? If you’re the parent, be the parent.
How to Maintain a Romantic Relationship While Working and Raising Children
By: Libby Shively McAvoy
Envato Elements Purchased Image License P5C6VNU4YM
Gone are the days of guilt and shame for single parenting or blended families. In fact, just about anything goes these days. But is it working? Divorce rates are sky-high; kids are not working or going to college after high school graduation, and many kids rely on their parents for financial support well into their twenties, if not thirties. So, are the new parenting trends successful? I would say the old-fashioned ones worked better, but perhaps adopting a combination may be the best option.
No matter what your parenting style, the most critical factor in a relationship is that you agree and that, as a couple, you back each other up. Otherwise, the children will see you as weak and prey on you like wild hyenas.
Two Working Parents
The current trend is that both parents work and contribute to the household budget. When I grew up, my mom stayed home and raised us, and my dad was the financial provider. I was fortunate enough to do the same for my children. I began my career when they were in school. It is empowering to do both work and raise a family. It is the ultimate contribution.
There is nothing wrong with both parents working. However, it creates more pressure when you arrive home to care for the children and handle household tasks. These tasks naturally restrict romantic time for you as a couple. So, balancing raising responsible children and maintaining a healthy, loving relationship with your partner is essential.
Empower your children to help out around the house. Encourage them to be a part of the dinner-making process and teach them to cook and clean. These are life skills that will serve them well while helping in the short term as well.
Blending Families
Blending families is also typical today. Some couples manage this effortlessly, and others still experience the wicked step-parent syndrome. When parenting the other person’s child/ children, showing support and having the biological parent discipline them is essential. Again, support each other as a couple and show no sign of weakness to the child.
Children need to feel secure and safe. A second or third marriage can be scary for a child. You must create a stable home atmosphere and keep disagreements out of their ears’ reach.
Final Thoughts
Children add meaning to our lives. They bring back a sense of wonder and excitement that naturally wears off in adulthood. Find couples with similar parenting styles to hang out with as families. This will help you feel more social and less isolated.
Give your partner a break and take turns taking care of the kids. This will help you both to bond and get to know the kids. And, of course, get a sitter and spend time alone together occasionally, too!
How we parent and act as a couple makes all the difference in our children’s future. A secure attachment will allow them to foster healthy relationships as adults. A chaotic household will create a lifetime of insecurity and problems for them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it empowers you to nurture your relationship and raise children to the best of your ability.
Raising Empowered Kids: The Journey Starts with Us
by Gabriela Trofin-Tatár
Empowering our children is one of the most important tasks we face as parents. To do this, we must first look inward and try our best to heal our inner selves.
Many parents carry emotional baggage from their childhoods or even inherited intergenerational blocks. These unresolved issues can unconsciously shape our parenting style. I have read many books about unhealthy patterns. I have also noticed some behavioral patterns in myself that I was using subconsciously until I decided to break the cycle.
Dr. Dan Siegel, in his research on interpersonal neurobiology, emphasizes that our own childhood experiences significantly influence how we parent.
So, how can we break this cycle?
For me, this journey started with self-awareness. I learned and understood that my reactions to my child's behavior were most likely rooted in my own past experiences. Research and therapy confirmed it. In therapy, we dug deeply and I realized that I often repeated phrases I had heard before while I was a child. But those exact phrases affected my self-esteem and even created blocks for me to become my true self. It was not my parents’ fault. It has been a behavior somehow perpetuated by each generation of the women before me.
So ask yourself: Are you overly strict because that's how you were raised? Do you struggle to set boundaries because you fear repeating your parents' mistakes?
Once we identify these patterns, we can start the healing process. This might involve therapy, self-reflection, or learning new parenting strategies. It's not about becoming perfect parents—rather, becoming more conscious ones.
As we heal ourselves, we become better equipped to empower our children.
A study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that parents who actively worked on their emotional well-being were more likely to raise children with higher self-esteem and better coping skills. This is my goal and probably that of many (most) parents.
Empowering our kids isn't about creating a flawless environment. If we provide a secure base from which they can explore, make mistakes, and grow, then we are doing something right. By healing ourselves, we create space for our children to flourish. We need to break those negative cycles and nurture a new generation of emotionally healthy individuals.
Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind. Bantam.
Moreira, H., & Canavarro, M. C. (2020). Mindful parenting is associated with adolescents' difficulties in emotion regulation through adolescents' psychological inflexibility and self-compassion. Journal of Child and Family Studies.
Gabriella - Look at the world with the wonder of the child’s eye. Many beautiful and joyful things will emerge.
Libby - Empower your children to help around the house. They learn by watching and through action. This teaches them responsibility and sets them up for success.
DR’s Tip: Children can now read their parent’s mind. Communicate, use your words.
DR’s Hack: Build rapport and anticipation by picking a particular day each week to take only one child with you to run errands. Maybe you’ll even find a treat along the way.
Gabby - Empowering our kids starts with empowering ourselves.
Thanks for reading,
Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi, Founder
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Please share your thoughts on the current parenting trends.
Great edition. DR, I enjoyed your perspective!