The Stories That Shape Us
Storytelling from one heart to another
Editorial by Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi
Storytelling is the heart of humanity. It is the way to share with each other, educate, and learn from each other. Storytelling can happen in any place and time, and now with teh use of technology our voices can reach far and remote areas of the world. We can collaborate and share our stories across continents like our Weaving Connection Book Series or share stories via a live stream or podcast. In today’s DEP magazine, an amazing writer and storyteller shares her part of storytelling and the reason behind her writing. Janin Lyndovsky is an amazing writer. This piece is an introduction to the podcast series that will follow, to our stories. I hope you will enjoy this amazing story.
The Stories That Shape Us
Never before have we had access to so much information and advice.
Every day someone tells us what to eat, how to raise children, how to build a successful career, how to become wealthy, how to find happiness, or how to live a meaningful life. We are surrounded by self-help books, podcasts, influencers and so-called experts, each convinced they have another answer.
At the same time, we are constantly bombarded with snippets of information. A headline. A thirty-second video. A social media post. A quote. A stranger’s opinion. We rarely have the time - or the opportunity - to discover the whole story behind what we see. Instead, we move on to the next snippet, and then the next.
Yet I sometimes wonder whether, in the middle of all this information and advice, we have quietly stopped making time for one of the most powerful ways people have always learned from one another.
Stories. Not fictional stories, but the real stories of ordinary people.
Our grandparents still carry remarkable stories. Our neighbours do too. So do our parents, our friends and the people we meet every day. What has become rare isn’t the stories themselves, but the time and patience to share them - or to listen to them.
Perhaps that is why we are surrounded by snippets rather than stories.
A snippet tells us that someone failed.
A story tells us where they started, what they believed, why they made the decisions they did, what happened afterwards, what they learned, and how their life continued.
A snippet tells us that a marriage ended.
A story may reveal years of quiet loneliness, impossible choices, forgiveness, courage or the beginning of a happier life.
A snippet tells us what happened. A story helps us understand why.
Stories don’t tell us what to do. They don’t make our decisions for us. They simply expand the choices we are able to see. That has certainly been true in my own life.
People often ask me how it is possible that I never worry. They also wonder how, despite the trauma, abuse and challenges I have experienced, I laugh as if I had never experienced pain. One comment I hear regularly is, “You are genuinely happy. That’s very rare at your age.”
The answer is simple.
I’m happy because the stories of others shaped my life. They changed the way I saw the world and taught me how to think about life. So now I share my own stories in the hope that one day they might change someone else’s life, just as other people’s stories changed mine.
I honestly don’t like to think about where I would be today if it hadn’t been for my grandpa and one other remarkable lady whose stories changed the direction of my life. I doubt I would even be alive today.
As children, we know very little about life. We don’t really understand forgiveness, courage, love, grief, resilience or hope. It takes a lifetime to truly understand those things, and sometimes we never comprehend them anyway. Yet stories allow us to begin understanding them much earlier.
None of us can live a hundred different lives. We cannot experience every joy, every mistake, every tragedy or every possibility ourselves. Stories allow us to borrow someone else’s experience. Through them, we see where different decisions may lead long before we arrive at those crossroads ourselves.
My childhood was filled with stories.
I remember long winter evenings sitting in my parents’ bedroom while my dad told us stories from his childhood, about his parents and grandparents, about people I had never met but somehow came to know.
I still remember my grandma telling me how she regretted carrying resentment towards my grandpa for fifty years.
“If only I had forgiven him earlier...” she would say.
That was how I first began to understand forgiveness and the importance of moving on with life - not because someone taught me a lesson, but because someone shared a story filled with regret.
My dad often told me stories about my great-grandmother, Mrs H. Lyndovsky. I never met her, yet through his stories she became one of my greatest heroes. Her courage became part of the way I saw the world - and, in time, part of my own courage.
Stories showed me the consequences of decisions. Not lessons. Not rules. Simply lives being lived.
Forgiving earlier or carrying regret.
Building a new life after tragedy.
Giving up or persevering.
Stories helped me connect decisions with outcomes.
They gave me hope.
Mrs Davidovicz met her husband during the war. They married two years after the war and built a life together, but sixteen years later he died from heart disease. As a young widow, she found herself burdened with debt in communist Poland, with very few opportunities. Yet she rebuilt her life from nothing and eventually became successful. Her story taught me that tragedy does not have to be the end of a story. Sometimes it simply changes life’s direction.
Stories gave me confidence.
People often thought I was strange or different. But Dad would tell me stories about people who thought differently too. Gradually I realised I wasn’t alone. Stories normalised who I was instead of making me feel different. We’re all different in our own ways, and that’s perfectly normal.
Stories taught me not to judge.
My grandpa often reminded me never to judge others because I did not know their stories. He said that every person carries a story we know nothing about. Years later, I met Pauline, a wonderful woman in her nineties. Her happy sixty-year marriage had begun as an affair. Without knowing her story, it would have been easy to judge. After hearing it, everything looked different.
Stories helped me think for myself.
The more stories I heard, the more I noticed similar situations, different decisions, and different outcomes. Instead of copying someone else’s advice, I slowly developed something much more valuable - my own judgement.
Stories also taught me that there is rarely only one possible ending.
If one path doesn’t work, somewhere there is another story where someone chose differently. Stories remind us that life doesn’t end with one bad decision. We can always change direction.
That is why I think stories matter. They don’t tell us what to do. They don’t make our decisions for us. They simply help us see possibilities we might otherwise have missed.
That is also why I write.
Not because I want to tell anyone how they should live. I don’t know the right path for another person.
I simply want to add another story to the collection they already carry.
Perhaps one day, when they reach a difficult crossroads in life, they will remember one of those stories - not because it told them what to do, but because it helped them see another possibility.
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Reach out to Gabriella’s services to assess nutritional wellness by carotenoid scanning, health and wellness consultation, an individual or group consultation/event/session, including mindfulness, meditation, reiki, nature walk, manuscript review, brainstorming sessions, writing, editing, publishing, health, course creation, for an interview, public health, creativity, and art sessions at dancingelephantspress@gmail.com
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